Too Different
by PiercetheNightVale
Summary: In the wake of Fili's death, Kili accidentally insults Tauriel. Will he be able to show her that they aren't too different to be together?
1. Chapter 1

Tauriel saw what was happening, but she couldn't make herself move to stop it. The Orc had his knife poised over Kili's chest and was preparing his deathly strike when Tauriel was finally knocked out of her stupor. She painfully rose up and launched herself at the Orc, knife raised, just as he thrust his blade downwards.

She heard the sickening sound of bone being crunched and she feared the worst as she hit the ground on top of the Orc. For a moment, she held him against the ground as she risked a glance at Kili. The blade had hit him, but instead of striking his heart like she expected it to, it had only pierced his shoulder. She let out a quick sigh of relief and quickly swiped her knife against the Orc's throat.

She was off of him as soon as his body stopped twitching. She was now covered in blood and sweat and dirt, and had more than a few injuries of her own, but she turned her attention to Kili, who was conscious but was barely moving

She knelt by his side and stoked his cheek. She had been so close to losing him, but he was alive, "Kili," she said gently. She firmly grasped the hilt of the sword that was imbedded in his flesh and gave it a quick tug. Blood spurted out of his shoulder she pressed her hands against his wound to slow down the bleeding. _Think, Tauriel. _She had been a decent healer in the Mirkwood, but she didn't have any supplies nor the time to heal him here. She hastily ripped the hem off her dress and tied it around the wound as tightly as she could. It wasn't the best sling she'd ever made, but she hoped it would do the job until she could reach actual medical supplies. She let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding when he spoke.

"I thought I was dreaming of you," he murmured, "I thought I was not lucky enough to actually have you by my side"

She smiled as the tears began falling from her eyes, "I would never leave your side, Kili," she said affectionately. She glanced behind her. There were no enemies in sight, but she could not tell what was happening back at the mountain. They could be ambushed at any moment, "We must leave" she said.

"Leave?" Kili asked incredulously, his eyes snapping open "We can't leave,"

"We must, it isn't safe here."

"The battle isn't over, Tauriel, we must fight" he struggled to sit up, only to have a wave of pain knock him back down.

"You're injured" she said as calmly as she could, "I must get you to a healer."

"I can't," he said stubbornly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell her this, but it seemed to be the only way to make her see, "I must avenge Fili" he said quietly

Her face softened at his confession. She knew better than anyone what it was like to lose your entire family at once, but that was no reason to get himself killed. She cringed when she saw that the makeshift bandage was already soaked through. He would surely bleed out if she didn't get them to safety. "Come, Kili," she sighed, "There will always be more Orcs to kill. You need to be treated"

"You don't understand. I must fight for my family's honor as well as my own" he insisted, anger creeping into his voice, "An elf could never understand"

She flinched back from his words. How could he say something so hateful? He'd said once that he didn't care that they were supposed to be enemies. How could he say such a thing after she'd been banished for loving him? "You think I'm not honorable," she said. It wasn't a question. She should have known it was too much to ask for a dwarf to respect an elf. This insult was just proving what she already knew.

Kili's eyes widened as he realized what he'd said to her. He ached to reach out and touch her, to apologize, but he could tell his advances would not be well received. He mentally chastised himself for his stupidity. She'd made it clear that the reason they could not be together was the differences between there people, but he had put her mind to ease. Now… he wasn't proving himself any different from the dwarves that hated her.

"Tauriel, I-"

"I know very well you meant it," she sighed. She stood up slowly and wiped the blood on her hands onto her pants, "I am leaving, Kili," she said, hoping her voice did not betray the sadness she felt, "Come with me, or go on your suicide mission, the choice is yours."

She turned around and walked back to Erebor, fighting against her urge to look back as her tears began to fall


	2. Chapter 2

Kili was painfully aware the she never even looked back to make sure he was following her. Did she truly not care if he lived or not? He wouldn't blame her if she did, but he had believed that their love was stronger than one quarrel. Then again, he had insulted everything Tauriel was, that was not something she would forgive easily. It had not even been a fair insult. The elves Kili had met had been a lot of things, but dishonorable was not one of them.

She could hear his footsteps behind her as proof that Kili had finally realized there was no point in him fighting anymore tonight. She slowed her steps down considerably in order for him to keep up with her. Even angry, Tauriel couldn't just abandon him while he was injured. She would get him back to Lake Town and she would heal his wounds, then she would return to hating him. That's what Tauriel told herself, at least. She couldn't even look back at him for fear that her heart would melt and he would get her forgiveness easily. He had insulted her honor and wounded her pride, he was going to do a lot more than the simple apology he had attempted earlier.

Tauriel walked carefully with her knife poised, knowing that if they were attacked she would have to defend both of them. It all seemed to quiet to her. There were no noises of fighting. Had the battle been won? No, she thought, even if the Orcs had been defeated, Thranduil would never leave the mountain without his gems. Tauriel knew that it was only a matter of time before dwarves and elves turned on each other. Since she had been banished, Tauriel should have felt no need to fight with the elves. But they were still her family and the only home she had ever had. Surely she could get away with not fighting for either side.

Tauriel remained just as silent inside Bard's house as she had been the entire walk. Kili didn't have the energy to try and make conversation, so he just allowed her to sit him down as she began to gather herbs and spices from Bard's cabinets. He should apologize again, but she seemed so focused on her healing that he dared not say a word. Kili knew little of Elven magic, but he could tell that she was attempting some sort of healing spell. He shut his eyes and became mesmerized by the beautiful Elvish words that were spilling from her mouth.

It wasn't anything fancy, and she could barely muster any of the right ingredients. Tauriel would be lucky if she didn't accidentally kill him by mistake, which is one of the reasons she was grateful he didn't talk. She also just didn't want to talk to him.

After a mentally and physically exhausting 45 minutes, Kili's shoulder was healed to the best of her abilities. He took note of how tired she looked.

"Tauriel?" he asked cautiously as her eyes began to drift closed.

"What?" she snapped, then sighed at her own harshness, "How do you feel?"

"Like an ass," he said.

She couldn't help but give a small smile, "I meant your shoulder."

"It will be alright," he assured her.

"Kili," she said softly, "A sword cut you clean through, it's alright to admit that you're in pain. Or is that another thing only elves do?"

He swore under his breath, "Tauriel, I'm sorry" he said.

"I know you are," she replied sadly, "You were right."

"I was right?"

"Not about elves being dishonorable," she replied, "You were right about there being things I didn't understand. Just like there are things you do not understand about me."

"I shouldn't have said it," he said firmly, "I was upset, and I spoke without thinking,"

"Well I've been thinking about it ever since, Kili," she said, "And I meant what I said before you left Laketown"

"So you're denying me again before I've even asked for you?"

"We're too different, Kili, surely you must see that," she said,

Kili stood up suddenly. Tauriel was too startled to move from her kneeling position, so their heights were almost equal, "It is not what I don't see that is the problem," he half yelled, "It's what you don't see."

"I see that we are not even the same species and you have insulted by people," she said, standing. She loomed over him, but Kili's anger was enough that he didn't feel intimidated.

"And you imprisoned mine" he retorted, "But I forgave you"

"You said I had no honor," she replied.

"I said and elf wouldn't understand my need to avenge my family."

"Because elves not love their families" she said, "Did I not love my family?"

Kili took note that she spoke in the past tense, "We're different" he admitted, "But does that mean we cannot be together?"

"I don't know," she said.

He hesitantly took hold of her hands, "This isn't about my insult," Kili said, "there's something else bothering you."

She shook her head, "Everything" she said, "Everything about us is wrong, Kili. This doesn't make sense."

"It is in my experience that the best things in life do not make sense."

Kili gently started pulling her down to his level, "Legolas said something to me," she said, "Something I had not considered"

Kili stopped his decent to her lips to look at her, "Legolas?" Kili asked. He should have known that the Elven prince was the one to put these seeds of doubt in her head. He had always been jealous that Tauriel hadn't loved him.

"I know you dislike him, but he is my best friend."

"What did his highness say?" Kili said mockingly.

"I am practically immortal, Kili," she said.

Kili bit back the clever retort he was going to use. That was not something Kili had thought about either. He was faced with his own vulnerabilities whenever he was in battle, but he had never thought about how Tauriel would live on without him.

"See," she murmured, "He makes a point."

Kili could feel her begin to emotionally pull away from him again and he knew if he didn't say something now, he might never get the chance.

"I love you, Tauriel" he said frankly, for the first time not being afraid to say those words, "I love you like I love the stars and I need you like the moon needs the earth. Yes, we are different, and yes there are downsides, but none of that will chance that I love you. And I don't believe it will change that you love me in return."

Tauriel could only look at him dumbfounded. She knew that dwarves could be exceedingly brash but this…

Kili mistook her silence for denial and she could see his face begin to redden with embarrassment. He was obviously unused to bearing his heart and being rejected. She could feel Kili's grip on her hands loosen, she gripped them tighter and said tenderly, "You asked me once if I could have loved you."

"I believed that was dream" he said.

"It was no dream," she said, "I never gave you a proper answer"

"Do you have one for me now?"

Her only answer was leaning down to him and slowly bringing their lips together. But just as Kili got over his surprise, there was an urgent knock on the door.

A.N. So this was originally only going to be two chapters, but now I have no idea how long I will continue this. I've also discovered that I really _really _like writing about Kili and Tauriel, so if you leave me some prompts, I just might write a few of them


	3. Chapter 3

"Ignore it," Kili said against her mouth

"It could be important," Tauriel said as she reluctantly stood back up. Kili cursed under his breath as he watched her walk away.

He was silently begging that whoever it was would leave so he and Tauriel could get back to… wherever this was going. But when he heard her gasp of surprise, Kili knew tonight would not go the way he hoped.

"Legolas," she said. She could not keep the shock out of her voice, "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he replied, "Why are you not out fighting?"

"I…" she struggled to find a satisfactoty answer, "I was treating the wounded."

"We have plenty of healers," he scoffed, "Our kin are being slaughtered, Tauriel, we need you to fight."

Tauriel could sense Kili's presence behind her. If Legolas was shocked to see the dwarf, he hid it amazingly well, "Did your father not tell you, Mellon," Tauriel said, not unaffectionately, "I am no longer your kin."

"What?" Legolas asked, clearly confused.

"I am no longer welcome in Mirkwood," she said, her strong demeanor finally falling, "Effective immediately."

"I…no," Legolas said, at a loss for words, "If there is no place for you then there is no place for me."

"Don't speak rashly like that, Legolas," she replied, "Someone might take you seriously."

"I am serious, Tauriel," he said, "If you are banished, then so am I."

"You are a prince, Mellon," she retorted, "You cannot make rash decisions. Go and fight for your kin, I have other work to do."

She glanced back at Kili who was staring at her in shock. She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but he looked ashamed for some reason. She wanted to reach out to him, and tell him that none of this was his fault. She had acted foolishly and she had been dealt the proper punishment for it.

"I can persuade him," Legolas said. It was a last ditch effort and Tauriel knew it. She looked at Kili again. This conversation was too much for him, and Tauriel decided it was time he stopped listening.

_"Go back a fight, Friend," _Tauriel said slipping into flawless Elvish, _"Your place is on the battlefield."_

_ "So is yours," _he insisted. He seemed surprised that she had reverted back to her mother tongue, but he did not mention it.

_"I am no longer Captain. I would be unwelcome."_

_ "A warrior is never unwelcome in a time of great need." _

_ "The rest of the Kingsguard has turned on me. I would be worried about a knife in the back from my own people."_

Legolas took a small step towards her, forgetting her Dwarven lover who was looking on, and gently touched her cheek, _"If any man lays a hand on you, he will have to deal with my wrath."_

Tauriel smiled up at him and shook her head, _"I cannot," _she repeated, _"My skills are needed elsewhere."_

_ "With the dwarf?"_

Tauriel tried not to react to the scornful tone in his voice, _"To the sick and wounded who need me," _she corrected.

_"So you will give up your position of power to be a common nurse?"_

_ "I didn't give it up, Legolas, it was taken from me."_

_ "I can get it back"_

_ "Thranduil is your king and I will not see you disobey him for my sake."_

Legolas stepped back from his friend looking hurt and betrayed, _"Fine," _he said, _"Return to your dwarf, but when you tire of him. Do not expect me to welcome you back with open arms"_

Legolas left without another word, leaving Tauriel to look after him. In the centuries of their friendship, they had rarely even fought, and now he hated her. How had she managed to ruin everything?

She heard Kili clear his throat behind her. Oh, she had completely forgotten about Kili. She wondered what he had assumed from the conversation.

"We can't return to what we were doing before, can we?" he joked, but she was not in the mood for banter.

"I'm afraid not," she said.

"Tauriel," Kili said quietly, "You didn't tell me Thranduil had…"

"It wasn't relevant," she replied.

"Wasn't relevant?" he scoffed, "I got you banished from your home, Tauriel. How is that not relevant?"

"Because there was nothing to be done, _Melamin," _She replied sadly.

"I could have done something," he repeated.

"You sound just like Legolas," She laughed, "Maybe Elves and Dwarves are not so different."

"You should have told me, Tauriel," he insisted.

"What would you have done, Kili? Married me and taken me to The Blue Mountains?"

"Maybe," he said.

Tauriel only looked shocked for a moment before she went back on the offensive, "And how would that have worked out, Kili? I'm sure Thorin would have accepted me as a fine wife for one of his heirs."

Kili flinched from the angry sarcasm that was dripping from her voice. In truth, he hadn't thought that far ahead. He hadn't considered what Thorin would think. He had only known that he wanted to be with her.

"I know you love me, _Melamin_, and I love you too. But no matter what we do, this will not work."

Kili couldn't think of the words to tell her how wrong she was. It was only moments ago that he had been kissing her, and now they were back to square one.

"I'm not going to give you my passionate speech again, Tauriel," he said, "But when this battle is over, I will speak with Thorin."

"Kili, don't. All that will accomplish is getting yourself in trouble."

Kili gave her a wicked grin, "Isn't that all dwarves are good for?"

Tauriel have him small smile, "This isn't the end of this conversation, Kili."

Kili hesitantly reached for her hand, "I will not abandon you, _Zinlaz," _

Tauriel pondered over the strange new pet name for a moment. Speaking Elvish was no sacred thing, not like the language of Dwarves. It was a great honor that he had spoken even that one word in front of her.

It was then that someone else came bursting through the door.

"Tilda, what are you doing here?" Tauriel asked as she stepped away from Kili. As much distress as the girl looked to be in, Kili couldn't help but feel a twinge of resentment at being interrupted again.

"Da…" she said, her breath coming in labored gasps. The poor thing must have run all the way here, Tauriel thought, "He told me to come find help. He said Laketown has been attacked."  
>Tauriel picked the small child up in her as she began to cry and held her against her chest, "No harm will come to you, child" she said soothingly.<p>

"Then you will go fight?" she asked.

Tauriel hesitated a moment before answering, "Yes," she said uncertainly, then repeated with confidence, "Yes, I will go aid your father."

She set the child down next to Kili and began gathering her weapons

"Tauriel," Kili said, but he was silenced with a glare, "Tilda, go rest in your room." He said. The girl obediently went off.

"I know what you're going to say, and no," Tauriel said before Kili could speak.

"You don't know what I was going to say," he said incredulously

"You want to come with me," she said. Kili only looked at the floor, proving Tauriel right.

"Why not?" he asked. He tried to keep his voice from sounding whiny.

"Aside from being injured?" she said, "What about Tilda? We can't leave her here alone while the town is being attacked.  
>Kili couldn't think of a comeback for that one, "So you expect me to stay here and baby sit while you risk your life?<br>"That is exactly what I expect from you, _Melamin," _she said, "And as I find other children, I will send them here where I know they will be safe. Where is my damned bow!" she cried.

"I'm sure Bard has one around here somewhere."

"No time," she said, "I'll have to make do with my knives."

"There's no way I can talk you out of this?" he asked

"No," she said.

He pulled her close to his and crushed her against his chest, "Then stay safe, _Zinlaz, _and return home to me."

Translations:

Melamin- Elvish for "my love"

Zinlaz- Khuzdul for "Star"


	4. Chapter 4

Tauriel could have been fighting for minutes or hours. There was no way for her to keep track of time when she was only focused on killing every Orc that she saw. She didn't tell Kili, but healing him had drained her of most of her strength. It was becoming a struggle for her to keep herself standing, let alone fighting. She knew she was going to fail eventually, she just hoped that there would be someone to protect her when she did.

She could also do without the distraction of trying to direct children back to Bard's house. The attack had been sudden, and there were many civilians left on the streets as a result. Tauriel feared that many of them would be orphans by morning. She had lost count, but Tauriel hoped that Kili wouldn't be angry that she had sent at least a dozen children for him to care for.

"Tauriel" came a voice. She looked up and saw Bard firing arrows from a nearby roof, "I knew Tilda would find you."

Tauriel quickly defeated her current opponent and joined him for a momentary break/conversation.

"How many are there?" she asked.

"No idea," Bard replied as he loosed another arrow, "But I've slain at least 20 myself."

Tauriel glanced over the makeshift battle field. There were Orcs everywhere she looked, and men being killed trying to fight them.

"How many men do you have?" Tauriel asked. Though she feared the answer, she needed to know their chances of winning.  
>"Less than 100," he sighed, voicing her worst fear.<p>

"We can't keep this up forever," she said.

"Aye," he agreed, "But we have nowhere to retreat to."

"So we fight this out to the bitter end?" she asked.

"I can't think of a better plan."

"Neither can I," she agreed as she jumped back down from the roof, her knives already pointed outward in attack mode.

* * *

><p>If she and Kili survived today, Kili was going to kill her. It was bad enough that he couldn't go out and join her, but she had sent him 14 children. He didn't know the first thing about kids, let alone human kids. The oldest was Tilda, who was trying her best to help Kili, but she couldn't handle a dozen children any better than he could. What had Tauriel been thinking?<p>

"There's another one," Tilda said.

"Dammit," Kili hissed, "We can't fit many more undetected."

"I'll send him back to my room with the little ones."

Kili had decided that those who didn't fully understand the gravity of the situation would try and sleep in the bedroom with Tilda looking after them. The older ones would stay with Kili and try to make themselves useful. They were to take the others and find a new hiding spot if they were attacked. Admittedly, Kili didn't like his odds of facing however many Orcs would eventually come here alone while also trying to protect 16 others, but he had faced worse odds before.

Kili heard a loud, shrill cry from the other room, "Keep them quiet Tilda!"

"I'm trying" she snapped as she took the crying child into her arms. Kili sighed. She couldn't be more than 10, yet she was expected to be the adult here. It wasn't fair.

Kili walked back to the bedroom and took the child from Tilda's arms, "You can watch the older ones for a bit," he said, "I'll take these ones." Tilde looked surprised, but she didn't argue.

The child in Kili's arms looked to be no older than three, "Calm now, child," Kili said as soothingly as he could, "It's alright." The child quieted down in Kili's arms and began to play with the braids in his hair. Kili bit back a groan of pain at the pulling, but this was better than having him screaming.

Kili took a look around. Thankfully, the other 7 or 8 kids appeared to be sound asleep, despite the sounds of war raging outside. Kili wished that he could sleep right now. The child let out a scream of protest when Kili began to set him down. Kili bit back an exasperated sigh as he realized that the child wouldn't stay calm unless he was in Kili's arms. Kili held the child, praying that Tauriel would return soon and in one piece.

* * *

><p>Tauriel wasn't sure how much of this she could take. She could feel her attacks getting sloppier. It was only a matter of time before some Orc caught her off guard and that would be the end of her. There seemed to be no end to her enemies, and she could see her allies dwindling.<p>

On top of that, Tauriel had no idea where in Laketown she actually was. She had been so caught up in fighting that she hadn't realized just how far she had strayed from Bard's house. She couldn't even see the roof top he had been on earlier. Even if she could leave the fighting, she had no way of getting back to Kili.

As far as she could tell, most of the defenseless we gone. Safe or slain, she didn't know, but it was easier to fight when she didn't have to worry about the citizens who couldn't. She just prayed that Kili's hiding spot hadn't been discovered yet. Orcs were merciless creatures who wouldn't think twice about killing children.

It seemed that Tauriel was out of Orcs to fight for the moment when she saw one looming over a figure crouched in the dirt. Another child. He looked like he couldn't be more than 8, yet he clung a baby to his chest protectively. Tauriel leapt over the corpses littering the streets and stood between them. Tauriel didn't understand the language of Orcs, but she could imagine that he hadn't just spit words of kindness at her. She clumsily blocked his sword blows with her small knives. She should have found a better weapon than her daggers. They served her well, but they weren't effective until she was dangerously close to her opponent.

"Child," she gasped between blows, "Do you know where Tilda and Sigrid live?"

The boy mustered a terrified, "Yes"

"Run there," she said as she dodged a knife strike aimed for her head, "There is a friend of mine there who will care for you."

Tauriel spent a few more moments defending the child, who still seemed too scared to move. Tauriel knew that whether she saved his life or not, this would be her last fight. Her strength was gone and her attacks were getting slower and slower.

"Tell my friend," Tauriel said, "That I'm sorry I couldn't return like I promised. Go now!"

This finally seemed to spur the child into action and soon he was gone. Tauriel smiled at her foe. Even though she was going to lose, she had saved two more lives. She decided a long time ago that if she died in the service of others, she would die happy.

Tauriel looked around. She could only see three Laketown citizens remaining. There were certainly others elsewhere, but not enough to defeat the remaining Orcs. Tauriel swung her knife out, slashing at the throat of the Orc. It was then that she caught a familiar sight out of the corner of her eye.

"Legolas," she whispered. Legolas and countless other Elven warriors. He had returned to help Laketown. While she was thankful for it, she knew that Thranduil would never approve. Legolas was acting in direct violation of his King and would suffer for it.

The two made eye contact across the battlefield. Legolas shouted a cry of warning, but it was too late. She looked down to see the sword protruding from her side. As her vision began to darken, she saw Legolas fire arrow after arrow into the Orc that stabbed her until he fell at her feet. As Tauriel collapsed against the ground, her last thought was of Kili and how she hoped he knew she was content with her death.

A.N. So I actually really like this chapter, especially the ending. Tell me what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

Kili wasn't sure how much time had passed when he suddenly noticed that the noise outside had significantly lessened. Could the battle truly be over? And if it was, was there a chance that Laketown had won? Kili couldn't risk leaving the children, so he sat back down, readjusted the sleeping infant in his arms and waited for Tauriel to return.

He jolted awake with a start when he heard someone enter the house. He set the child in Tilda's bed and quietly walked to the kitchen. If this was an enemy, Kili would be practically defenseless against them. How could he have fallen asleep? Tauriel had trusted him and he'd let her down.

But what he saw in the kitchen wasn't an enemy, but Bard. He looked a little worse for wear, but altogether unharmed. Kili let himself smile. At least one of his friends had survived this.

"Just so you know," Kili said quietly, so as not to disturb the children, "There are more than a dozen sleeping toddlers in Tilda's room."

"I was wondering where everyone ran off to," Bard said as he removed his bloodied coat, "It's good you were here to take care of them, though I don't know where they'll go now."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Kili said.

"Aye," Bard agreed, "I suppose we should just be grateful we're alive."

"It is a miracle that you won," Kili said.

"Not a miracle," Bard said, "It was Elves."

"Elves?"

"A whole army of them," Bard replied, "We would have been goners if it weren't for them.

"Speaking of Elves, Is Tauriel with you?" Kili asked.

"She hasn't returned yet?" Bard asked with confusion.

"No…" Kili said, a knot beginning to form in his stomach.

"The fighting stopped hours ago," he said.

"So she should be back by now," Kili muttered, "Maybe she's helping the injured?"

"No, I would have seen her," Bard said.

Kili's worry turned into full bore panic. Tauriel wouldn't spend more time away from him than she had to. Something had to be wrong, Kili just knew it.

"I should go look for her," Kili said.

"I'll take care of the children, go," Bard agreed.

Just as Kili reached the door, it slowly opened up. Another child, this time an older one holding a baby. _He must have gotten lost on his way here, _Kili thought.

"Go inside, child," Kili said.

"Are you her friend?" he asked

"Her friend?" Kili replied.

"The woman with the red hair and pointy ears," the child clarified, "She told me to find her friend."

"Tauriel," Kili muttered, "She sent you here?"  
>"She told me to tell you something," he said, '"I'm sorry I couldn't return like I promised' she said to tell you that"<p>

* * *

><p>Legolas didn't know what to do. He hadn't thought to bring any healers with him and she was beyond human aid. The only comfort he had was knowing the Orc who'd hurt her was dead. He simply sat next to her and cradled Tauriel in his arms. He could still sense her faint breathing, though her heartbeat was getting slower by the minute. He left the sword in her side in an attempt to stop the blood flow.<p>

He hoped she would regain consciousness so he could apologize to her. The last words he had spoken had been hateful ones, and now Tauriel was going to die not knowing how deeply he cared for her.

"I'm sorry, Mellon," he said as he brushed a piece of hair from her face, "I'm sorry I can't save you,"

"Tauriel!" Legolas heard a voice call. Of course, he had been down here with her a long time. Of course someone would come searching for her. It wasn't until the second call that he recognized the voice. Kili.

"Down here!" Legolas yelled, "Kili, we're here!"

Kili saw Legolas with something lying in front of him. It wasn't until he was a few feet away that he processed what it was.

"No," Kili said, "No."

"She's not…" Legolas said. The normally calm and collected elf was now letting his tears flow freely, "Not yet."

"Then what are you doing? Kili yelled, "We must go get help!"

"There's nothing to be done," Legolas said.

"Heal her," Kili insisted, "Like she healed me."

"I don't know how," he growled.

Tauriel stirred slightly in his arms, as if she could sense the disharmony in the air.

"We must try," Kili said, "Please, Legolas." Kili's voice broke. How could he have been so close to having her only to lose her again? What God could be so cruel?

Kili knew the answer. The same God that had taken Fili and probably countless other Dwarves today. The God of Death didn't care that she was all he had left.

Legolas was hesitant to move her. He didn't want to cause Tauriel any unnecessary pain, but he could tell Kili would not just let her die peacefully. Legolas stood up and held her protectively against him.

"Sigrid is a healer," Kili said as he began leading the Elf to Bard's house, "Not a magic one, like the Elves, but she will be able to do something."

Legolas didn't respond. He didn't want to admit that Tauriel was going to die, but he couldn't give Kili hope where there was none. Legolas and Tauriel had literally spent centuries together. They could sense each other's every mood, and he could feel her slipping away. Her will to live was almost gone. Legolas could almost feel the pain she was in. she was suffering, and he hated it.

It wasn't long before they were back at Bard's door. Kili didn't even bother to knock. He opened the door and directed Legolas to set her down on the table. The same table he laid on while she had treated his leg wound.

"Sigrid!" Kili yelled, ignoring the children that were probably still asleep.

A few moments later, both Bard and his eldest daughter emerged from the bedroom. Sigrid was wiping the sleep from her eyes when she noticed Tauriel. She bit back a gasp.

"What happened?" she asked as she stepped toward the injured Elf.

"Orc," Legolas said, "Stabbed her in the side."

"I don't know what I can do," she replied honestly, her eyes filling with tears, "This looks very severe."

"Please try," Kili begged, "She saved all of our lives, please, Sigrid"

She nodded. If it wasn't for Tauriel, her whole family would have been killed by Smaug. She owed it to the Elf to try, "Get me hot water, bandages, and my sewing supplies."

Bard did as she instructed, trusting his daughter knew what she was doing. She was a good healer, but she had never dealt with something like this before. She was acting brave, but Bard could see her shaking hands.

"You can do this," Bard whispered as he handed her the needles.

She smiled, "Is the water boiling?" she asked.

"Almost."

As soon as the water was ready, Sigrid set herself to work, "You might want to leave," she said, "This will not be pleasant."

Legolas had to practically drag Kili out. There was nothing either of them could do right now for her. It would only hurt them both to see her like this. They just had to trust the Sigrid could save her.


	6. Chapter 6

Kili grew more and more worried as the minutes dragged on. He needed to know what was happening, no matter how much he feared it. More than anything, he hated feeling so utterly helpless. This wasn't the first time that Kili realized all he was good for was fighting, but this was the first time it had consequences. If only Oin were here, maybe Tauriel would have stood a better chance. He trusted Sigrid, but he was still a child. Tauriel needed a miracle.

Kili rose from his seat as Sigrid entered. She was shaking and her hands were covered in blood. Tauriel's blood. Kili's stomach churned at the sight of it.

"How is she?" Legolas asked nervously.

"I don't know," Sigrid replied as she shook her head.

"You don't know?" Kili asked incredulously.

"I was able to sew the wound shut and she hadn't lost as much blood as I thought she had," Sigrid explained, "But she isn't responding to anything. I've don't all I can do, but it seems like she doesn't have the will to fight."

Kilo glanced over at Legolas, who looked troubled. He wanted to ask the Elf, but he could tell it wouldn't be wise to ask in front of Sigrid.

"Like a piece of her is missing?" Legolas muttered. It sounded like he was mostly talking to himself, but Sigrid nodded her head anyways.

"Exactly," she said, "I suppose it's out of my hands now."

"Thank you, Sigrid," Kili said as he gave her a deep bow.

"You saved our lives. It was the least I could do."

"Sigrid?" Bard said as he entered from the kitchen, "You look like you need sleep."

"Yes," she agreed wearily.

"It would be nice if we hadn't filled your beds with children," Kili commented.

"She can sleep in my bed," Bard said, "I'd rather have the children here than on the streets."

"Goodnight," Sigrid said as she followed her father, "Wake me if anything happens."

It wasn't until he was certain that Sigrid was out of earshot that he turned to Legolas. He was about to say something, but stopped when he saw the look on the Elf's face. He looked angry. Angrier than he had ever looked before.

"Legolas?" Kili asked carefully.

Legolas whipped his head around to glare at Kili. "You" he hissed.

Kili instinctively took a step back even though Legolas hadn't stepped toward him, "Me?"

"This is your fault," he spat.

"It is my fault she remained here," Kili admitted.

"I'm not talking about her fighting," Legolas replied, "It is your fault she is incomplete."

"What?" Kili asked in confusion. Kili could be blamed for a lot of things, but he didn't understand what Legolas was accusing him of. Kili attempted to jump out of the way as Legolas lunged at him, but the Elf was too fast and he soon had Kili pinned against the bedroom wall.

"You should be dead. I thought Tauriel was just an exceptional healer to have cured you of Orc poison and stabbing in the same day, but that wasn't it."

"I don't understand," Kili replied as he tried to break Legolas' grasp, but the Elf was too blind with rage to let go.

"There is a very dangerous brand of Elvish healing where the healer gives a piece of themselves to another. I didn't know she practiced it." Legolas said.

"I…no," Kili replied. Legolas finally let him go. He let out a shaky breath and held onto a table to keep from collapsing. Tauriel giving him a piece of herself? It was unthinkable.

"You took a part of her," Legolas replied, "And now you will give it back."

"I don't know how!" Kili yelled, but Legolas was already gone.

* * *

><p>Tauriel was back in Mirkwood in her rooms. She hadn't been there in weeks, how had she returned? A moment ago… what had she been doing a moment ago? She couldn't remember, but she knew she hadn't been home.<p>

No, she remembered suddenly. This wasn't her home. She didn't have a home anymore. Thranduil had banished her for her disobedience and she had nowhere to go. The rest of her memories came flooding back. She had been fighting when she saw Legolas, then she had been stabbed.

Was she dead? She couldn't imagine that her heaven would include someplace where she had so many bad memories. Her heaven wasn't really a place anymore, it was a person. A person she'd probably never see again.

She sat down on her bed and put her head in her hands. They had only just come back together, and now they were being torn apart.

She had feared that she would outlive him and be forced to spend the rest of her life alone. She'd never even considered the possibility that she'd die first. Of course, Tauriel knew that Elves could be killed, but she'd always secretly thought she was too good a warrior to be defeated. That Orc had certainly showed her where pride could get you.

Well, the Orc and the fact that she had used so much energy on Kili. She didn't regret it. She didn't regret it even a little bit. Kili was a prince. He had responsibilities to his people. She was only a Silvan Elf. There were no consequences to her death a no one to miss her. Tauriel would give her life for Kili's a million times over. It was a shame she only had one life to give. She knew her Dwarf would put himself in danger again, and now she wouldn't be there to save him.

Tauriel laid back and rested on the numerous pillows that decorated it. Legolas had never understood her obsession with pillows. _Who needs more than one or two? _He had argued. It wasn't that she needed them, she wanted them. They were comforting and soft and it felt so good to be enveloped by clouds after a long day.

Maybe Kili had been right when he'd said she walked in starlight. Maybe she was never meant to be here. Maybe that was why she had died so young.

Tauriel nearly screamed as she felt a sharp pain in her side. She looked down, but she couldn't see any blood. She took deep breaths and try not to yell, but the pain intensified until it engulfed her entire body.

Her last thought before she lost consciousness was of how you weren't supposed to feel any pain in death

* * *

><p>A.N. So I have no idea what the Elvish afterlife it supposed to be, so I just made something up. I also have no idea if the magic Tauriel used to heal Kili really exists or not. Review please!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

A.N. So I looked into the Elven after life since this part is turning out to be longer than I expected, and it's a bit of a confusing concept, so please correct any errors I've made

* * *

><p>It had been hours and Tauriel still had not stirred. Kili wanted nothing more than to give her back whatever he had taken, but he truly didn't know how. Legolas had been watching over Tauriel, so Kili spent his time watching the children. Aside from being afraid of what Legolas would do to him, he wasn't sure he even wanted to see Tauriel like this. He was ashamed that he was the reason she wouldn't wake. He didn't know how to help her and it was killing him<p>

"Kili…" Bard said as he entered the room, "You should sleep"

"Not tired," Kili replied even as he bit back a yawn.

"Staying up won't improve her condition."

"I need to watch the children" Kili said.

"Go to sleep, Kili," Bard said. Kili thought he'd never sounded more like a parent. He could tell why his children respected him.

"I'll try," Kili replied.

"It might help if you actually go and see her," Bard suggested.

"Legolas is with her," Kili replied, "And I doubt he wants to see me."

"Legolas is gone, Kili," Bard said.

"What? When?"

Bard hesitated a moment before answering, "He went to see if his father brought any Elven healers."

"Oh," Was all Kili could say.

"It doesn't mean anything, he's just being cautious."

"He thinks she's dying," Kili muttered, "Because of me."

Bard fully entered the room and leaned against the door, "I don't understand any of this Elven magic," he began, "But whatever Tauriel did, she did knowing the consequences. She wouldn't want you to give up whatever she gave you."

"But how could I live knowing she died for me?"

"You just do, Kili. You live well and make her proud," he replied, "Now go see her."

* * *

><p>The pain in Tauriel's side had faded into a constant, dull ache. She didn't have the will to move, so she just laid on her bed and wondered what the hell was going on.<p>

She knew very well the customs of her people, but she had never made the conscious decision to remain on Earth or proceed to the Halls of Mandos. Maybe she wasn't allowed to enter the Halls yet. Maybe she had sinned too much and was being punished. Maybe she simply wanted to cling to life. But she was discontent. She was caught between two worlds and she knew that if she didn't make a choice soon, she would be stuck here forever.

If she was dead, then she was dead. There was nothing else to it. There was no point in Tauriel remaining in Middle-Earth. But she couldn't shake the feeling that there was a part of her missing. A crucial piece of her Fëa that prevented her from truly leaving the world.

She didn't know what to do and there was no one to help her. She was going to be trapped in this Purgatory for eternity with no one to keep her company.

Or so she thought. She sat up painfully as she heard her door open. Tauriel instinctively reached for her blades then cursed when they weren't there. What use did she have for weapons in Purgatory?

"Who's there?" she asked, trying to hide her fear.

It wasn't until she saw the auburn hair, the same shade as her own, that she made the connection. "Mother?"

* * *

><p>She looked like she was asleep. Kili hadn't known what to expect, but he hadn't imagined she would look so peaceful. If it wasn't for the blood on her dress, he would have thought that she was sleeping, exhausted after a long day of fighting.<p>

But he knew what had really happened and he was filled with shame that he had done this to her. He took a small step forward, worried that if he even breathed wrong he would make things worse.

She looked so pale, almost like a corpse. But the shallow rising and falling of her chest let Kili know she was alive. He reached forward and hesitantly grabbed her hand. It was so cold. The few times he'd touched her, she'd been so warm. He couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't really there.

He thought again about whatever she had done. Maybe Legolas was right and the piece of her missing was the piece preventing her from coming back. Maybe it was also the piece that stopped her from leaving. What if Legolas found a way to reverse the magic and she died? Kili didn't want to think about it. She was alive right now. He could feel her slight pulse as he held her hand.

Kili looked behind him quickly to make sure they were really alone before leaning into her.

"Tauriel" he breathed into her ear, "I know on some level you can hear me."

He waited a moment. He knew she wouldn't react, but he still hoped that maybe just hearing his voice would magically bring her back. Maybe he was as naïve as his companions thought. He sighed and continued.

"There are people waiting for you to return, Amrâlimê," he whispered, "So if you are doing this by choice, return to me and Legolas. But… if I have a piece of you that you cannot live without, then I promise, Tauriel, I will return it to you. You will live"

She didn't say anything nor did she open her eyes, but Kili could ghace sworn her felt the faintest squeeze on his hand.

Translations

Fëa: The Elven equivalent to the soul

Amrâlimê: My Love

A.N. I know it was super short, but I've had no time to write the last couple of days. I hope I'll be able to update this and "Murder in Mirkwood" over the weekend


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm dreaming" Tauriel said.

"Quisif nan-Pah, Tauriel," her mother said gently as she approached her child, "This is no dream,"

"Then…" Tauriel swallowed, "I am dead?"

"No, child," she said, "You are still very much alive."

"Then how can you be here?" Tauriel asked, "What is happening, Mother?"

"You are trapped," She replied sadly, "Stuck between Middle Earth and the Halls of Mandos."

"So it is as I thought," Tauriel murmured, "I am being punished."

"Punished, no," her mother said, "You are being given a chance. You should be dead, Tauriel."

"I do not understand, Mother."

"You didn't know what you were doing, but you gave a piece of yourself to the Dwarf. In your desperation to save him, you used forbidden magics you didn't know you could practice."

"I what?"

"A Piece of your Fëa belongs to Kili now," Her mother explained, "And he cannot give it back to you."

"Then I can't leave this place? I will be forced to spend eternity between worlds?"

"No, Child," she continued, "You are only trapped because you don't know how to get back. The piece of yourself you gave up is your immortality"

"I'm… mortal?"

"We were never completely immortal, Tauriel. We are as old as the earth and we will die with the Earth. You will just die earlier than most."

"Then I am no longer Elven?"

"Our lifespans are not what make us, Tauriel. You are an Elf and you will be to the end of your days."

"I am so confused, Mother."

"I know, and I wish I could help you, but I can't" she said sympathetically, "I can help you return back to the mortal realm, but you must figure things out from there."

"Teach me," Tauriel pleaded, "Teach me how to return."

"It will be difficult," her mother warned, "And I make no promises about the state your physical body is in. You might die anyways."

"I don't care," Tauriel insisted, "There are people waiting for me. People who need me."

"You love him," her mother said. It wasn't a question, just a statement. Tauriel couldn't tell what her mother was thinking. Elves had a nasty habit of being able to conceal their emotions. It often aided Tauriel, but right now she wanted nothing more than to have her mother's approval.

"Yes," Tauriel replied, "With all my heart."

"Then it should be easier for you to return," she said with a small smile. Tauriel let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. If not approval, she at least didn't have her mother's hatred, "Lie back, Tauriel" her mother said.

Tauriel obeyed and let the softness of her pillows envelope her. She was struck with the realization that even if she could return to the physical world, she would still never see her home again. She hadn't really gotten the chance to process her banishment. There hadn't been a moment off peace since she had reached Laketown. This was the first time she had really had the chance to take it all in.

"Tauriel? Are you alright?"

"Yes, mother," she said quickly.

"Tauriel," she replied, "If there is something you are not telling me, then you don't have to go back. I can guide you to the Halls of Mandos just as easily as I can guide you to the physical world."

"I want to return," Tauriel admitted, "But I have nowhere to go. Thranduil banished me and I won't be welcome in Erebor. Laketown will not be able to support the people it already has. I no longer have a home"

"I… did not know that," her mother replied.

"I have nothing if I go back, but I am not ready to die." Tauriel said, as a single tear spilled from her eye.

"You have him."

"He is a Prince, Mother."

"I have been watching over you for hundreds of years, Tauriel, and I have never seen anyone love you the way he does. He will follow you to the ends of the Earth.

"I don't want him to," Tauriel replied, "He belongs with his people and his kingdom."

Her mother only laughed, "I doubt you'll be able to be rid of him, Child."

"He won't be happy with me forever. I can't tear him away from his family."

"His brother is dead, Tauriel. He doesn't have much family left." Her mother replied, "And as for your lack of a home… sometimes home is not a place, but a person."

Tauriel nodded in response. No matter what happened, she had to go back. Kili needed her, and she needed him. She had been a fool for thinking that they could live their lives without each other.

"Close your eyes, Child,'" her mother murmured, "And picture where you want to go."

* * *

><p>Kili froze when he felt her hand gently squeeze his. Maybe she couldn't really hear him, but she at least felt his presence, and she was letting him know that she hadn't given up. Wherever she was, she would fight for her life and return to him.<p>

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "Get better, Amrâlimê." Bard had been right. Kili did feel better now that he'd seen her. And now all he wanted to do was sleep. With the children here, there was barely room for Bard's own family, let alone a Dwarf. He glanced at the small chair on the other side of the room and decided that was the best place to sleep for the night. He would be close to Tauriel, yet be close to the children if they needed anything. Kili had never been a fan of children, but knowing that Tauriel got hurt saving them made him oddly protective.

He grabbed a spare blanket and settled down for the night. He knew he would be sore in the morning, but at least he would get the hours of rest he'd missed out on over the past few days. Kili grabbed a spare blanket and settled down in his chair, letting himself fall asleep to dreams of Tauriel and a happier time.

Translations:

Quisif nan-Pah- Common Elvish greeting for a loved one

A.N. I couldn't find a name I liked for Tauriel's mother, so I left her nameless. And let me know what you think of the character and her and Tauriel's relationship.


	9. Chapter 9

Tauriel did as her mother asked and pictured Bard's house. She had a nearly photographic memory and was able to picture every detail. Every walnut that had fallen from Kili's makeshift pillow earlier, every drop of blood from their various wounds was accounted for.

She felt strange, like she was in two places at once. Tauriel supposed she was. Her physical body was in Bard's kitchen, but she could still feel the part of her Fëa that was in her room in Mirkwood. It felt alien and generally unpleasant. Like she was having a waking dream, but she knew it was real.

"Control your breathing, Tauriel," he mother said. Tauriel hadn't realized that she had begun hyperventilating. She took care to focus on her mother's guidance, no matter how uncomfortable she felt about how it seemed her voice came from nowhere.

Tauriel couldn't move her head, but she could move her eyes. She didn't have a great range of view, but she could tell that she was in the kitchen. Probably on the same table Kili had been earlier. It was unsettling to not be able to move, and she soon found herself panicking. _Calm, Tauriel, _she thought. No good would come from her losing her cool. She could remain stranded, or worse. She darted her eyes around until she saw someone out of her peripheral vision. _Kili. _Was it him? Or was she imagining things? She yearned to reach out to him, but she still couldn't move.

Even though she knew it was in vain, she still tried. It seemed like wouldn't work but then, she felt her fingertips brush the side of the table. She was moving. She was returning back to the physical realm. She carefully blinked her eyes and turned her head a centimeter towards Kili. She was about to call out to him when she felt a pain in her side. It was like the one she had felt earlier, only worse. Before she could say his name, she let out a shrill cry of pain.

She lost control of her limbs again, and felt her arms and head stiffen back into the rigid position she had awoken in. she felt herself disconnect with her body again, but this time it felt different. Instead of floating away, she felt like she was being ripped in two. She wanted to let out another scream, but she couldn't open her mouth. She was paralyzed and it was terrifying. Her eyes were wide open, but she couldn't process anything she was seeing. Until she saw his face above her.

Kili was standing over her, with a look of concern and fear in his eyes. She looked at him, willing her body to obey her, but she couldn't move. He was saying something, but Tauriel couldn't hear him. All she could hear was her ragged breathing and her heart pounding in her ears.

She tried to focus on how much she wanted to go back to the physical world, but she couldn't hear her mother's guidance or Kili's words. Her last thoughts before she passed out were of how, for the first time, she was truly alone.

* * *

><p>Kili at first thought the scream had come from outside. He instinctively reached for his sword, before remembering he was unarmed. It wasn't until he looked around that he realized the scream had come from Tauriel. He leapt up and ran to her when he noticed her body thrashing. If she wasn't careful, she would rip her stiches, and Kili wasn't entirely sure that Sigrid could sew her up again.<p>

Without thinking, he pressed down on her shoulders, preventing any movement that would hurt her. Her eyes were open, but she didn't seem to be seeing him. Kili wondered just what was going on in her head. If she could scream, then she could surely wake up. But… Kili thought again of how Legolas believed that he had stolen a part of her. Maybe he was right. Maybe he was killing Tauriel. Kili couldn't dwell on it. Whatever Tauriel had done, he couldn't reverse right now.

"Tauriel," he said forcefully, "You must stop thrashing."

He saw her eyes focus for a moment, and was stunned by the pain and terror in them. She wanted to return, Kili realized, but she didn't know how. Kili hadn't considered that wherever she was, she physically could not come back. He had always thought Tauriel capable of anything. Could it be that this magic she had used, she had performed without knowing?

Kili didn't have time to dwell on it, her eyes had returned to their glassy, unseeing state and her body became stiff and unmoving. And Kili knew that Tauriel was away from him. What he had said to her the day he received the Morgul wound… he had been a fool to write it off as a dream. He hadn't known what it was really like for her to be far from him. He knew now that this was worse. This was much worse than her being physically gone. It was agony to be able to see her and touch her, but not speak to her. And he knew that she wasn't walking among the stars. Wherever she was, she was scared and alone. Kili couldn't think about how he'd done this to her without feeling ill.

Kili wondered if Legolas had found an Elven healer. If there was someone who could reverse Tauriel's magic… he didn't want to think about that choice. Bard was probably right when he had said that Tauriel would want him to live. But how could he? She wasn't dead, but she wasn't alive. If she couldn't wake up, but also couldn't move on… how was he supposed to decide what to do? She wouldn't want to live like this. This wasn't living. But if Kili did anything, it would be akin to murder.

He looked at Tauriel's lifeless body and wondered how in the hell she could leave him like this. Kili wasn't normally a crier, but he felt tears begin to pool in the corners of his eyes. How could she leave him? She had been the one to make sure he knew how pointless his continued fighting would be? How could Tauriel turn right around and get herself killed because she couldn't accept that enough was enough?

Kili knew what must have been going through her mind, though. She must have seen the child and known he would die without her. She was too noble and too kind to let a child die when she could in his place. He felt like damning her and her selflessness, but he knew he couldn't. Not in good conscience. Kili could almost imagine what she would say to him if she were here.

_There is no use fretting over what cannot be changed, _he could almost hear her voice in his head.

"Tauriel," he said as he gripped her hand, "You won't want this of me, Zinlaz, but I swear on my honor as a dwarf, I will return your missing piece to you, and you will live a long, happy, Elven life."

Kili knew he should have returned to his makeshift bed, in case Legolas returned and caught him, but he couldn't bear to be so far from her. Instead, he laid his head down next to her on her walnut pillow, and let her slow, shallow breaths lull him back sleep.

A.N. So this chapter got really far away from where I wanted it to go, but I kind of like it. Let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

Next thing Tauriel knew, she was back in Mirkwood. She sat up and took a few deep breaths. She didn't feel great, but at least the searing pain was gone. She glanced over at her mother, who was wearing a concerned expression, "I'm okay," Tauriel said quickly, "Can we try again?"

"Let's give it some time, child," she replied, "We can't tax your physical body too much"

"I'm alright," she insisted. After actually seeing Kili, she was even more anxious to return to him. A part of her hadn't been convinced that she was still alive, but that wasn't something she could just imagine. She had seen him. He had spoken to her. If wasn't sure about returning to Middle Earth already, she was now.

"Please, mother," she pleaded.

Her mother looked skeptical, but she could see the determination in her daughter's eyes. Tauriel would try again with her without her help, "Fine," she sighed, "But first, we figure out what went wrong."

Tauriel rolled her eyes at the delay but didn't argue. It had been centuries since she'd spoken to her mother, but Tauriel knew they were both very stubborn. If Tauriel crossed her again, she had no doubt her mother would forbid her from trying to go back.

"I just… got overwhelmed," Tauriel said. She couldn't entirely describe the sensation. It was pain and nothingness at the same time. She felt like she was many places at once, yet nowhere at all, "What?" Tauriel asked when she saw her mother purse her lips.

"I told you not to hide things from me," she said. Her tone was accusing, but not angry.

"I'm not," Tauriel insisted.

"I don't think you know what you've gotten yourself into, Tauriel" she replied, "But if this doesn't succeed…"

"I'll be dead, I know."

"No, Tauriel. You'll be trapped here." Her mother snapped.

"Now whose hiding things?"

"I didn't think you would have difficulties," Her mother replied quietly.

"Mother," Tauriel said as she gripped her hands "I need to go back."

"I know," she replied, "This time… try and focus less on me and more on Kili. If you can sense him, maybe you can create a stronger connection to the physical world."

"But I need your guidance!"

"No you don't, child," she said, "I was holding you back."

"Mother…" Tauriel said, voicing the question she'd had all evening, "Why are you here? You've been… dead many years. Why are you not in the Halls of Mandos?"

"Because of you."

"Me?"

"You know Elves have to make the conscious decision to leave the world," She explained, "I never made it because I somehow sensed that you would need me someday."

"But, you said the longer I remained trapped the more likely it is that I wouldn't be able to move on. Will you be able to?"

"I don't know," she replied sadly, "I've never tried."

"Mother," Tauriel began, "Promise me that once I'm gone, you will try and move on the Halls of Mandos."

"Tauriel…"

"Please, mother," she pleaded, "I wouldn't be able to live knowing you're trapped here. And I'm sure father is anxious to see you."

"I'm sure he is," Her mother smiled, "I will try, child."

Tauriel lied back on her bed, momentarily satisfied with the answer. She didn't know if she'd ever see her mother again. Since she was no somewhere between Elf and human, she wasn't sure if she belonged with any afterlife. Maybe she'd be doomed to spend the rest of her days in this strange inbetween world anyways. She couldn't ponder what would happen when she actually died. Right now, she wanted to live. She closed her eyes and pictured Bard's kitchen again.

* * *

><p>Kili didn't wake up until he felt someone shaking him. He sat up groggily and wiped the sleep from his eyes. As predicted, his back and shoulders ached from sleeping hunched over, but he was pleased to see that he still gripped Tauriel's hand. The first rays of sun were peeking through Bard's window, meaning he'd only gotten a few hours of sleep.<p>

"How has she been?" Sigrid asked after she saw Kili was awake.

Kili hesitated before answering. Something told him that whatever had happened to Tauriel a few hours ago hadn't been something Sigrid could deal with, "She's been fine," he lied.

Sigrid looked at him skeptically but didn't argue, "I need to change her bandages," she said, "Can you go check on the children?"

Kili nodded and stood up. He took a few moments to try and stretch the pain out of his back before he accepted that he was going to hurt all day.

He opened the door as quietly as he could, but he could see that many of them were already up. Were children supposed to be awake this early? The child Kili had held last night very nearly tackled Kili as he launched himself into the dwarf's arms. Kili laughed and embraced the child. He would deny it if anyone asked, but he was growing fond of a few of them. Or course, as soon as Tauriel was well, he would probably never see any of them again. It wouldn't be right for a warrior to return with a herd of children in tow. They would have to be left in Laketown when he returned to Erebor. But right now, he was willing- if not happy- to play babysitter.

"Good morning," Kili said. He was met with some nods and a few shy smiles.

"Is she alright?" a small voice asked. Kili recognized him as the child who had given him Tauriel's message last night. He still held the sleeping baby against his chest, like he was afraid of letting her go.

"Yes" Kili lied, "She's just resting." There was no point in upsetting the children, he reasoned.

"I'll keep them quiet," one of the older ones said.

"Thank you," Kili replied, "I'll see what I can do about getting you all some food."

He got a few thankful nods from the older ones and an affectionate tug on his hair from the child in his arms. Kili figured he'd start to cry if put down, so he reentered the kitchen still holding him.

"I see you've made a friend," Sigrid giggled when she saw Kili.

"Laugh all you want," Kili replied.

"I'm not laughing," she vowed, "It's good someone is taking care of them."

"What about when I leave though?" Kili asked quietly.

"I can imagine that more than a few of them are orphans," she agreed, "And I heard Da saying that we don't have nearly enough food."

Kili took a moment to consider the predicament as Sigrid went back to Tauriel. Would it really be so bad if he took a few of them to Erebor? Thorin surely wouldn't mind a few extra mouths to feed. After everything that had happened, he would surely want to help the people of Laketown.

"I'll care for them" Kili said, "Well, not all of them"

"If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were getting attached."

"So what if I am?" he shrugged.

"We can discuss this later," Sigrid said, "But right now…"

"What?" Kili asked, "Is she alright?"

"It's like last night," she began, "Physically, she should be getting better."

"Legolas should return soon with an Elven healer," Kili said.

"I hope they fare better than I have," Sigrid muttered.

"You've done well," Kili said, "If not for you, she'd already be dead."

Sigrid mustered up a small smile, "I do what I can."

"Go get some rest," Kili said, "I'll watch over her."

Sigrid looked at him thankfully before going back to her room. Kili adjusted the small child in his arms and sat back down. Was it his imagination, or did Tauriel look less pale than last night? Maybe it was wishful thinking, but she looked more alive. Maybe her episode was a sign of her returning.

Before he could ponder is anymore, the door opened.

"Legolas," Kili said.

"Move," the Prince barked. Kili obeyed when he saw the other Elf who walked just behind Legolas. He must have found a healer after all. Kili felt like his presence would no longer be appreciated, so he retreated back to the children's room and let the Elf do his job.


	11. Chapter 11

Kili couldn't bring himself to do anything more than sit down and wait. He was no longer tired, but he didn't have the heart to entertain the children. The older ones seemed to sense this and leave him alone, but the younger ones only gave him confused looks, concerned for why their new caregiver was ignoring them.

Kili thought again about what he said to Sigrid. Thorin wasn't heartless, and he didn't have the sickness anymore, so there was so reason for Kili to be apprehensive. But what if the new King did turn them away? They were only children, and Laketown didn't have enough supplies to care for even half of its citizens. The least Kili could do was offer to ease some of the strain that he had partly caused. Thorin had to see things the way Kili did, he just had to.

Before Kili knew it, he was being shaken awake by his new friend, "Good morning," Kili said as he mustered a smile. The child didn't say anything, but sat in Kili's lap. For the first time, Kili realized that the child had never spoken a word back to him. Was there something physically wrong with him? Kili made a note to see if the child would talk on the way to Erebor. That was when Kili noticed the child Tauriel saved standing over him.

"The Elf told me to come get you," he said quietly.

"Tauriel?"

"I don't know," he replied.

Kili stood up and set the younger child down. Whatever was going on in the other room, Kili didn't want the children seeing it. If she had died… Kili couldn't even think about it.

"Keep an eye on them," Kili said. The child nodded as Kili left.

He didn't know what he was expecting to see. He wasn't prepared for some huge change, but he had been prepared to maybe be greeting her corpse. But she looked so unchanged it was hard to believe that an Elven healer had been working with her for hours.

Legolas was watching over her, leaning against the wall. Kili noted his almost predatory glance at him. Kili knew the Elf Prince blamed him for what had happened, but Kili would never intentionally hurt her. Legolas had to know that.

"What's happened?" Kili asked, "Is she alright?"

Before Legolas could say something hateful, the Healer said, "I don't know. She is physically getting better…"

"So it's true," Kili replied, "There's a piece of her missing."

"I know the kind of magic she used, and I know how to reverse it."

"And you need me to do that," Kili replied, mostly to himself, "That's why you called me out here."

The Healer nodded in response. Kili allowed himself to smile, but the other Elves didn't look optimistic. when Legolas spoke something in elvish, Kili knew that there was more to this than what he was being told, "What?" he asked.

"Prince Kili," The Healer began, "Legolas told me about the wounds you have suffered. And... they are very grave. You would probably be dead."

Kili could only stare as he realized what the Elf was saying. If Tauriel was healed, then he would die. There had to be a way around this. He had cheated death so many times... there had to be some sort of loophole. But Kili could tell by the grim look on his companion's faces that there would be no escape. Kili had only two choices. Save himself and Tauriel dies, or save Tauriel and he dies. There was really only one choice.

"Reverse it," Kili said before he lost his courage. Kili caught a look of surprise on Legolas' face. It was rare to see any emotion in an elf, the fact that he let it show for more than a split second showed that Kili had really caught him off guard.

There was no "_Are you sure",_ or any sort of questioning. Kili was grateful. He was afraid of death and was worried he would become a coward again if he was pushed. The other Elves only nodded before delving into instruct_ion. _Kili struggled to keep up with the Elvish words and the medical dialect. The only things he really caught were that he needed to be in physical contact with her and he needed to try and connect with what remained of her Fea. How he would do that, Kili didn't know, but he had faith his love for her would do the trick.

"You'll feel pain," The Healer warned, "A lot of pain."

"Great," Kili grimaced

"You'll feel like you're being torn apart, you can't try and prevent it, Kili," he said, "After that, the physical pain from your wounds will set back in."

"Will that be as painful?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "But I assume it will be over quicker."

Kili wasn't so sure he appreciated the honesty of Elves anymore. Before his fear prevailed, Kili took her hand as the healer began to speak the lyrical language of Elves.

Kili now knew what the healer had meant about feeling her soul. As soon as he began speaking, it was like he was surrounded by Tauriel's light. It was so bright and warm. Kili couldn't imagine how he had lived without her for so long. He saw again the golden glow that he had seen when Tauriel had healed him the first time. Except this time, Kili was the one saving her.

That was when the pain began to set in. He felt like vomiting, but he was afraid that all that would come up would be blood. It really did feel like only half of him was there. He could feel his knees begin to buckle, but Kili remembered that he needed to be touching her. Kili forced himself to stand and let the healer kill him.

His vision began to blur and he felt her light brighten as his own faded. This was it, it was working but Kili was dying. Just as his vision began to blacken, he fell to the ground separating their hands

Kili took a moment to readjust to the knew light. He felt alright, good even. That must mean something had gone wrong. Why was he still alive?

"What happened?" Kili asked, "You said you knew how to reverse it."

The healer and Legolas spoke for a few minutes in their native tongue, ignoring the dwarf on the floor. Finally, the healer turned back to Kili, "I do," he replied.

"Then why don't you?" Kili asked, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. Why could elves ever give him any straight answers? It seems like all they ever did was talk in circles.

"She doesn't want him to," Legolas spat.

"What?"

"What the Prince means," the healer continued, "Is that she knows what I'm trying to do, and she's resisting."

"Elven magic," Kili muttered under his breath, "Then what do we do?"

"There's nothing we can do," the healer said, "I tried to forcefully bring her back, but I could get you both killed if I tried to force it. She'd trying to make it back on her own"  
>"She will not die because of me?" Kili hissed, "I will now allow it."<p>

"I've sorry," the healer said genuinely, "But there is nothing I can do."

"Then what do we do?" Kili asked miserably

"We wait," he replied simply.

"Wait," Kili said as the healer began to leave, "If she knew what you were trying to do, does that mean she can hear us?"

"Yes."

"Wait outside," Kili instructed, "I will speak with her."

* * *

><p>Even if she didn't fully succeed this time, at least Tauriel could sense what was going on around her. She couldn't exactly move, but she could hear and she could feel the table beneath her. As long as she had her senses, Tauriel knew she was already doing better.<p>

But of course, even thought she could hear what was happening, Tauriel couldn't respond to anything that was going on. She had heard Kili speaking to her, but no matter how much she wanted to reply; to tell him how much she loved him, she was powerless. And then he was gone, all too soon his hands were gone from hers, and she could feel that he wasn't close.

It took her a while to comprehend what was happening after that. She didn't recognize Legolas' voice at first, and it took her longer to realize she was being treated by an Elven healer. And even then, she had let him work. She was starting feel the ripping sensation again, and was worried she'd be torn away. Any help Tauriel could get, she welcomed. Until she heard the words "reverse". She made it a point to focus more on the conversation after that, until she understood that the healer was going to reverse the magic she'd used on Kili.

Tauriel knew that without her Fëa, Kili would surely die. She couldn't let him heal her. Even if it was the only way she could return to the physical world, Kili would live. Tauriel would ensure it. So she held on, as hard as she could. Tauriel didn't know how she was doing it, but she was succeeding. She could feel the piece of her that the healer was trying to give back becoming alien to her, like it didn't belong with her anymore. Once again, she was attempting unknown magics and winning.

She had only a moment to feel good for herself before she felt the pain of having a piece permanently gone. But any pain she feel was nothing to the joy of knowing Kili was safe.

Tauriel had insisted that she needed to return to them, but she realized now that keeping hi safe was more important than keeping him happy. And he wouldn't be happy. Kili would be angry, he would hate her for a bit. But she was only a Silvan Elf, there were only a few that would miss her. He was a Prince and he had a responsibility to his people. Even if he didn't want to admit, his first priority should be the Dwarves. They would never have worked out. And now, she realized she was truly on her own to make her way back to the physical world. Without Kili in her life, she had nothing really to cling onto. She didn't even have a home anymore.

Why should she even try and go back to a world where she had no one? Maybe she should return to her mother, and enter the Halls of Mandos. For the first time in centuries, she would be able to see everyone she had lost. She was about to let go of the slight grip she had on the physical world when she heard his voice.

"Tauriel," he murmured, "I know you can hear me, and this time you will listen."

A.N. I know it's been a few days, but I've been crazy busy. I have no idea how long this will go on, but I feel like this story is drawing to an end. Which makes me sad, because Kiliel is my favorite pairing to write, but I don't want to drag it on too long. So I hope I'll be back with another chapter by Friday. Tell me what you think


	12. Chapter 12

Kili's voiced lacked all of the affection it had earlier. Now we was just angry, Tauriel could hear it. No, not just angry. Angry and hurt. It wasn't until now that Tauriel knew how he would hurt if she died. It was the same hurt she had felt as she healed him.

"Amrâlimê," he murmured, "I cannot live knowing you have died for me."

_But I cannot let you die, _she thought

"It is not the existence I want," he continued, "I was always going to outlive you."

_But this is too soon_

"Accept that I will not let you die, Tauriel," Kili pleaded, "Accept that no matter how many times I have to summon an Elven healer, I will force you to take back what you have given me."

_I cannot even if I wanted to._

"Come back, Tauriel," he said, his voice finally breaking. She could feel his warm lips on her forehead and his hand grasping hers. She wanted to cry and scream and kiss him. She wanted to yell until he understood why he couldn't give up her Fea. But she could not form the words.

She needed to make someone understand that she was making her way back to the physical world. She was moving slowly and inefficiently, but she was succeeding. She needed someone to tell Kili that she was mortal and they could spent the rest of their lives together.

But instead, all she had was the love of her life angry with her

* * *

><p>He didn't meant to sound as angry as he did. All Kili wanted to was get it through her think skull that she was helping no one by resisting. He needed her like he needed air and he could no longer picture a life without Tauriel.<p>

He had hoped that the same had gone for her, but she wasn't so sure. She had kissed him and assured him that the feelings were mutual, but he couldn't help but think there was no way she could ever love him as he loved her.

He froze over her body as he heard breathy mumbling coming from below him. Tauriel's eyes were still closed but her lips were moving, forming words that Kili couldn't understand. _Dammit, she's speaking Elvish, _he thought. This wasn't the first time he had cursed their language barrier, but this time felt more frustrating. She was probably just muttering in her delirium, but Kili could help but hope she was responding to him.

As Kili's monologue drew on, he became more emotional until he finally let his tears fall. He slowly pressed a kiss to her forehead, noting how cold it was. Elves shouldn't even feel the cold.

"You can come back," Kili said as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. Tauriel was still muttering in Sindarin, but Kili had given up on her switching to the common tongue,

Legolas looked at the scene before him. The voice that had called out to him had been raw from tears, and the Prince realized he had misjudged the dwarf. He was truly in love with Tauriel and felt as guilty as Legolas wanted him to. He felt no victory in Kili's sadness though.

"What is she muttering?" Legolas asked in confusion.

"The hell if I know," Kili snapped.

The healer leaned down closer to her mouth in order to hear, _Legolas, _the elf said, _you must hear this,_

Legolas looked skeptical, but moved to his friend anyway. She was speaking soft, slurred Sindarin. Legolas had to pay close attention to catch even a word of what he was saying.

_I…am finding my way back… _she murmured _back to Kili and Legolas._

Legolas froze over her. Just how aware was she of her surroundings? "_I am here, Mellon. Why will you not return?_

_ "I am trying," _she replied.

_"Why will you not let us help you?"_

_ "I…Kili."_

_ "He is not happy like this, Mellon," _Legolas replied.

_"Mortal…" _she whispered, _"we will be together,"_

Legolas glanced up at the healer, not sure if he had heard right.

_"She is mortal?" _Legolas asked

_"I do not know," _he admitted, _"But if she is, then there is little I can."_

_ "Maybe she is making her way back," _Legolas suggested, _"Maybe she doesn't need us."_

_ "I do," _she said quietly, _"I need those I love. Kili and Legolas."_

_ "We are here, _"he assured her

A small smile graced her lips before her speech ceased

Kili could only helplessly look on as Legolas and Tauriel spoke in their mother tongue. His curiosity peaked every time he heard his name, and he wished more than anything that he spoke Elvish,

Whatever they were talking about had Legolas distressed. He could see the worry and confusion clearly on the Prince's face. It wasn't until Tauriel had stopped talking that Kili broke the silence.

"What did she say?" Kili asked hesitantly.

"She's coming back on her own," Legolas replied.

Kili let a few Khuzdul curses slip. Would she ever actually listen to him? Kili didn't need the answer, he already knew. Tauriel would do whatever she liked, no matter what he or Legolas said. Kili sighed and resigned himself to the fact that she wasn't going to accept help.

"Kili," Legolas said hesitantly.

"What?" Kili snapped unhappily.

"If she returns…" Legolas began, "Don't be angry with her. She had nothing now but you."

Kili let the scowl slip from his face. He had forgotten that she no longer had a home, and with that she would lose her best friend. She truly was alone except for him.

"I'm not angry," he said, "I'm afraid."

"You love her," Legolas said. It wasn't a question, just him stating a fact, but Kili nodded anyways.

"With all my heart."

Legolas nodded in return not sure what to say. If Tauriel truly was mortal now, he could see that there was no one better for her to spend the rest of her days with. But it still pained him knowing that in the matter of maybe a century, she would be gone from his life forever.

"I will leave you too," Legolas said, "She no longer needs me."

"Legolas…" Kili said, "Say goodbye to her at least before you return to Mirkwood."

"I will try," he promised before leaving the room.


	13. Chapter 13

Tauriel had finally gotten the hang of existing in the physical world without being able to move in it. She wasn't very comfortable, but she at least wasn't panicking anymore, and as long as she remained calm she was safe from being torn away. It wasn't until she realized she was actually speaking out loud that she understood just how much she was returning.

For a while, Tauriel thought she was just responding to Legolas in her own mind. She was thinking what she would say if she had actually been able to talk. But then he responded, and she realized she was saying the words out loud. She wanted to laugh. She was actually having a conversation with Legolas. She was able to convey what she was doing and no one would try and save her, killing Kili in the process.

_"I am here, Mellon. Why will you not return?" _she heard his soft voice answer. Tauriel struggled to find the right words.

_"I am trying," _she replied. Tauriel hoped that Legolas could sense she was succeeding. Being able to talk meant that whatever she was doing was working, and she would be back soon. But she could still hear the doubt in Legolas' voice. He didn't understand why she was doing this. He didn't understand her love. Of course he wouldn't, she didn't really understand it herself. All she knew was that she didn't care that she would live a mortal life and die a mortal death, as long as she got to do it with Kili. If he would have her, she added as an afterthought.

More than once, she justified leaving him on the beach because he was prince. His people needed him and they would resent Tauriel for who she was. Like Thranduil had made her choose, Kili would eventually have to choose between him and his home. Tauriel had no doubt he would choose her, but he wouldn't be happy. He had worked hard to reclaim Erebor and he deserved to reap the benefits, even if he did that without her. But now… now they were bond together. He carried a piece of her with him, and she couldn't ignore that. No matter what challenges their relationship would create, Tauriel was determined to be with him.

She felt a warmth in her hand again and realized with a smile that Kili was holding her hand. She had heard Legolas leave and feared that she would be left alone again, but she should have known better.

_Gi Mellon, _she murmured. I love you. Kili wouldn't know exactly what she was saying, but she was confident his heart would understand.

* * *

><p>Kili wasn't sure what to do at this point. Legolas and the healer were gone, the children were being taken care of by Sigrid and Tilda, and Kili couldn't bring himself to leave Tauriel to make himself useful around Laketown. He was sure that Bard would welcome the help rebuilding, but he still felt that leaving her defenseless would be a mistake. But there was nothing he could do but wait for her to wake up.<p>

He still stubbornly hoped that she would see reason and accept help, but Kili knew she was just as determined as he was. So her sat by her and held her hand in silence. Left alone with his thoughts, Kili couldn't shake the feeling that Legolas had been hiding something. His departure had been an abrupt and awkward and there was a sadness in his eyes that Kili could not place. Kili knew better than to ask, but he was certain that Tauriel had said something important that Kili wasn't being told.

Kili rubbed his thumb gently along the top of Tauriel's hand and looked at her. He swore he could see color returning to her cheeks and her breathing becoming less shallow. It was wonder that a young girl like Sigrid had done as much as she did before the Elven healer arrived.

He saw her lips move slowly, forming words he wouldn't be able to understand. Still, he leaned in a caught two short syllables. _Gi Mellon. _Kili didn't know what she said, but he felt something in his heart swell that the words. Maybe the part of her inside of him was recognizing the Sindarin and reacting? Kili could help but think it was an Elvish term of endearment. Maybe she realized it was him holding her hand and was proclaiming her love. It was too much to hope for, yet hope he did.

He leaned in close to her face and whispered, "I love you too, _Zinlaz," _before placing the softest of kisses on her lips.

But when he lifted his face from hers, he nearly jumped when he saw a pair of big, green eyes staring back at him.

A.N. So I'm thinking of writing a sequel to this story. Would anyone actually be interested in reading that, or should this just be stand alone piece?


	14. Chapter 14

It took her a moment for her eyes to readjust to the sunlight. She had grown accustom to the dim lights of Thranduil's halls, and the brightness of Bard's house left her pupil's too dilated to see anything for a moment. But when she could see again, her vision was dominated by a pair of brown eyes looking back at her.

"Kili," she murmured. It was so quiet that she was certain he couldn't hear her. Tauriel studied him for a moment. Was she really here? Or was this just an elaborate dream?

"You're alive," he said in wonder. He brushed his hands gently over her cheek, as if she might break if he pressed too hard.

Tauriel painfully tried to sit up on the table. She didn't break her eye contact with Kili. She thought they were both afraid that the other would disappear if they looked away. She let out a small groan as she felt the pain in her side return, though it had receded to a dull throb.

"The children?"

"There are about a dozen sleeping in Sigrid's room," he answered. He looked over Tauriel. She appeared to be in no more pain than what was to be expected from being stabbed. Sigrid's stitching held up against Tauriel's movements.

Tauriel let out a small sigh of relief. If they were safe, than everything was worth it, "What happened, Kili."

"I don't know," he confessed, "I haven't left this house."

"You didn't go and find your people?"

"I promised you I'd look after whoever you sent here," he said, "And I didn't intend to break that promise"

Before Tauriel could stop herself, she launched herself into Kili's chest and wrapped her arms tightly around him. She ignored her screaming ribs as he held her just as tightly. She felt tears begin to sting the corners of her eyes and had no will to make them stop.

"You are safe now, Amrâlimê," he murmured as he kissed her head, "We are all safe." She wanted to believe his words, but she had never been safe. Her entire life had been characterized by danger. But now… she had no home and no position. She didn't know what else to do with her life. She was a warrior at heart and her banishment wouldn't change that. She pulled away from him to look at his face.

"I's sorry," she said quickly.

"For what?" he asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"Everything," she replied, "I'm sorry for making things more difficult than they needed to be."

"You have nothing to apologize for," he insisted, "Everything you said was true, Tauriel."

"I don't care," she replied honestly, "I don't care that what we have is unconventional, Kili. I want to be with you."

Kili's lips spread into a wide smile, "Really?" he asked, not quite believing this was real.

"I have nothing," she continued, "No home, no family. But I have you. And that is all I need."

Kili leaned forward so that their lips were almost touching, "You really mean this?" he asked.

She leaned in and whispered against his mouth, "Órenya ná órelya" before gently connecting their mouths. Kili stayed still for a moment before returning the kiss. He wanted to make sure that she really meant this. That Tauriel wasn't just saying these things because of the relief of being alive. When she didn't move away from him, Kili tangled his hands in her hair and kissed her back passionately.

She opened her mouth and deepened their kiss. Her hands roamed his entire body, as if she was trying to memorize every inch of him with her fingers. He let out a small grown of pleasure when her hands found his hair again. She smiled against hos mouth and gently rubbed his scalp. She was rewarded with many more quiet moans.

They were both breathless when they finally broke apart, but neither couldn't contain their smiled, "I have been wanting to do that since I first saw you," he confessed as he pressed their foreheads together.

"You can do that whenever you like," she laughed.

He gave her another gently kiss on the lips, "Is that a promise?" he asked cheekily.

She couldn't think of a clever retort and just kissed him instead. This kiss was sweet and gentle, they didn't rush because they knew they had plenty of time.

"We're going to have to discuss what comes next at some point," he said after they had broken apart again.

"But not now," she replied.

"No," he said.

She smiled and gently guided herself back down on the table, bringing him down with her. She was suddenly very tired. She was going to have to deal with her new physical limitations. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he rested her head against his chest,

Her last before falling back to sleep was that if every day was like today, maybe it wouldn't be so bad being mortal.

Translations:

Órenya ná órelya: my heart is your heart


	15. Chapter 15

Kili knew he should sleep, but he couldn't bring himself to shut his eyes and cast Tauriel out of his sight. He was still a little worried that this was all some dream and she'd be gone when he woke up. So he just sat there with his head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat. It was the most beautiful noise he's ever heard, and hearing it coupled with the gently rise and fall of her breathing, he was more content than he'd ever remembered being.

Of course, he knew deep down that this wouldn't last. Thorin would eventually call for him, and he'd have to return to Erebor. Kili didn't know how the other dwarves would react to Tauriel, but he knew that he couldn't leave her, and she wouldn't leave him. Their relationship so far had been characterized by uncertainty. But if anything good had come out of Tauriel's near death experience, it was that he knew they loved each other and he would never let her go.

As if she could hear his thoughts, Tauriel began to stir slightly in her sleep. Kili's hands found hers again and he gave them a gently squeeze. She relaxed slightly in response to his touch, but her muscles were still clenched and she looked to be in discomfort.

"Tauriel?" Kili asked gently as he raised his head from her chest. He nearly gasped at her face, which was contorted in pain, "Tauriel?" he said a little more forcefully while gently shaking her shoulders.

Her eyes opened and her body shot up so forcefully she nearly shoved Kili off the table. She looked around in fear for a moment before she clutched her side, "It hurts," she hissed as she nearly doubled over.

"Well… you were impaled," Kili replied. Tauriel could tell that he was trying to distract her with humor, but she could hear the worry in his voice. He wasn't used to Elves expressing her physical pain. She was trying to hide her true condition, but By Valar, is still felt like there was a sword inside of her.

"Should I get Sigrid?" Kili asked. Tauriel could only nod while she fought back the bile rising in her throat. Kili have her a nod before running back to her bedroom. She'd been injured before, more times than she'd care to admit. But this was different. Up until now, her wounds had always healed fast, and any physical pain was gone in a matter of hours. But she was mortal now, and she'd have to go through the full healing process, and she'd have to go through it alone.

Kili returned a few moments later with Sigrid, who looked tired but as worried as Kili was. She too expected to Tauriel to be healed more completely by now. She hadn't meant many elves, but she had been watching healers close nearly-mortal wounds with their magics all day.

"Are you bleeding?" she asked Tauriel. She honestly hadn't even bothered to check if she'd ripped her stitches. The pain was too bad to focus on anything other than staying conscious. Sigrid seemed to sense this and carefully moved Tauriel arms, which were pinned again her stomach and ribs.

"She hasn't hurt herself any further," Sigrid muttered in confusion, "I suppose it will just take its time to heal."

"Do you have anything for the pain?" Kili asked as he glanced at Tauriel, who was still doubled over.

"Nothing very sophisticated," she said, "Just some home remedies."

"It's better than nothing," Kili reasoned.

Sigrid nodded and began rummaging through her cabinets. Kili took a step towards Tauriel and placed his hands over hers, "Sigrid is getting you something," he whispered.

_"__Diola lle" _she replied quietly. Kili glanced back to see how Sigrid was faring.

"I found some Athelas from the Elven Healers, but they won't do anything on their own," Sigrid said when he noticed Kili's eyes on her, "I'm going to turn them into a salve."

"How long with that take?" he asked

"However long it takes," she snapped before returning to her work.

Kili looked again at Tauriel. She was pale and looked as if she was about to be sick. Kili knew all too well what pain like that was like, he had suffered it a few times himself.

"I want to learn your language," he said before he could stop himself.

"What?" she replied.

Kili blushed slightly. It was something he had been thinking about asking her for a while, but he had only said it out loud because she needed a distraction and it was the first thing that popped into his head, "I want to learn Sindarin," he repeated.

"Why?" she asked, "You want to become more of an oddity?"

Kili laughed at that. Not only was he a dwarf that loved an Elf, but he wanted to become one that spoke her tongue, "I suppose you have a point," he chuckled, "But I still want to."

"Sindarin is a difficult language," she said as she grimaced, "But I suppose I could teach you. What brought this on?"

"Well…" he said, debating whether he should really say what he was feeling, "If I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, I don't want there to be any language barriers between us."

"Then I suppose you will have to teach me Khuzdul?" she joked. She knew very well he couldn't do that. It was a secret language, and some dwarves even considered it a crime to teach others.

"Why not?" he asked with a smile, "We should learn each other's customs."

"Kili…" she warned, "I was joking."

"I could though, Tauriel," he said, "I could share everything about my people, and you could share everything about yours."

"Even if it's considered sacrilege?" she asked.

"Oh, especially then," he replied.

Tauriel couldn't help but smile, "I look forward to it," she smiled. Kili smiled in return and placed a small kiss on the top of her head.

"The children," he said after a few moments of silence, "They're going to want to see you."

"I want to see them," she confessed as another jolt of pain stabbed through her.

"Yeah?" he asked with genuine surprise. He'd never suspected she was one to surround herself with children.

"Elven children are rare where I'm from," she explained, "Any child that graced our halls is considered to be a gift."

"I dare say they're rather fond of you as well," he replied, "Especially the one with that baby."

"He made it?" she asked. She'd been certain that he had been followed by Orcs after she had fallen.

"Aye, they're all unharmed to."

"I think most of them are orphans," she said quietly.

"Bard said the same thing."

"They shouldn't stay here," she said mostly to herself. Laketown was pretty much destroyed, every mouth to feed spread their resources thinner.

"That's why I told Bard I would take some of them to Erebor with me."

"Will Thorin allow it?" she asked skeptically.

"He'll have to," Kili replied, "Just like he'll have to accept you."

"Kili…" she said slowly.

"I know, I know," he interrupted, "He hates Elves, but you are different. He'll like you, Tauriel."

"Kili," she repeated, "I have no intention of going to Erebor."


End file.
